modern nutrition in krapchat: why men shouldn’t rush off to the urologist about their asparagus intake

but, honey it makes your pee smell…

i told you, it’s not my urine i want you to…
shit. some sugar snaps then. this red meat is killing me.
whatever, just finish…
pig. these are my new reading glasses.

overheard on the Internet: “Actually, I’ve given up on asparagus, okay? I can’t get the kids to eat it and it just goes bad and gets thrown out. broccoli even. nobody buys a vegetable anymore. all i do is i buy these huge sacks of frozen mixed vegetables, store brand shit, staples, bits of wood, fingers even may-be who knows what you’re gonna find in there you sift through it by hand and do an eyeball check before you cook right? then? a couple little scoops on the plate if they eat it great if not you tried, let em lick on a flintstone vitamin, have they resolved the embarrassing missing betty rubble problem what was up with that i mean if ANYBODY looked happy in that sick prehistoric swinging suburban bunch of wife swapping preneanderthals it was Betty and you can’t tell me that barney wasn’t an early forestry major, you know what i’m saying?”

For over twenty years, Betty was not included as one of the vitamins. However, after a grassroots campaign and the results of a Bayer telephone poll came in favor of including Betty, the character was added to the lineup in 1995, replacing the Flintstone car.[4] The rock band Betty’s Not a Vitamin was named after this situation, but their first album was released in 2007, long after Betty was added.

TWENTY YEARS? When Betty Rubble was at her absolute HOTTEST. Wilma might have been the sultry redhead, but Betty and Barney stunk up the Bedrock funk scene like NO OTHER devoted couple in love. Yes, Bam Bam was not their natural child and was adopted, but few people have ever heard the totally unfounded rumor that it was Barney’s battering ram massive girth that nearly ripped Betty apart night after night without ever leaving the slightest stretch mark and kept her smiling and giggling over that crappy prehistoric chickory coffee substitute she shared with Wilma every morning after comparing notes on whether or not it was the earth’s plates shifting or just another seismic coming of age. And as all good neighbor’s when the boys were away bowling, they shared Dino’s tongue equally. a buck thirty four bejeezus. you like this shit? help us out man.


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