Colonial New York Dutch Colony Bureau of Vegetable Dimensions, Seeds, Legumes and Pulpy Roots, N.O.S.

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Buncha injuns and dumbass ceegar chewin dutch masters standing around before the first recorded mob sitdown in new york history shiny beads preceding tide pods by several centuries and even before the trotters and OTB how we EVER educate our kids before LOTTO? thank the stars for the new math and bitcoin blockchain wampum heap big scam five guys named moe larry and curly they’re GOIN’ for it Satoshi baby, they’re GOING FOR IT… just shut up hand me the box of cannolis and follow my lead…Very reluctantly and under meadeigating circumstances, hempforth cottoning to Olde Tymes Not Like Far Out ManAgreed, this 26th day of July, 1663, Livingston Taylor Manor, Nueva Yoke, Chip Monk’s Seed & Rootskellare Taverne Publique Howse and Grille A. Monsoone…

Seeded Rye Cooder Breads shall be sold by atomic weight only…

Furmented lesser rodential cheeses in circular form shall not exceed 362 degrees elliptical… as Lo-cal Pilates classes have seen a rash of disturbing and rather itchy hamstring injuries during intermediate class attempts at full 181s on the high bar…

Three cornered hat sales on Thursday are off. Felt wrong. That’s flax, Jack. Daniel travelling through Friday nocturnally tuppence Plain…

In anticipation of the invention of BINGO 266 years hence, all residents are invited to crash the community stock yarde on Saturday beginning at 10 a.m. until the bell rings. Toll House Cookies will then be served for whomever may be hanging around.

Frankie, I’m telling you forget about it, I haven’t seen a tomato in a week, I’m eating bean salad out the Wazoo and what is this maize crap, it looks like a disease, corn is supposed to be yellow or in a can and the apples? I never saw so many freaking apples in my life. And what’s with these streams like two feet deep you can see right to the bottom how you going to throw a gun in there not have it seen and these flat rocks all over the freakin place you could make a pool table or something at least right. And trout? Trout for dinner trout for breakfast you can’t get a slice for lunch  even? A little baccala be nice you remember the codfish my grandfather used to bring home you throw one in here you couldn’t fit it in the canoe, you flood the whole friggin town. Hell I’d settle for a bag of potato chips when they going to invent those?


One Reply to “Colonial New York Dutch Colony Bureau of Vegetable Dimensions, Seeds, Legumes and Pulpy Roots, N.O.S.”

  1. Are you sure the fish is historically accurate? As a 1/128th blooded Saratoga County condo timeshare Native Silverheels Tribe, LLC 3rd week of August resident I find your incomplete reporting of the New York State slate resource’s rich historical impact on the economic development of New York City alone to be… almost a slap in the face, ooh it makes me so mad, I could just stomp around in my deerskin Crocs in furious anger…

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