119 year old man sues ancestors for his grandchildren’s bad parenting in flash of 20/20 peripheral vision

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Forward backslash  fanfiction birthday bash PPV cash only offer – Nyetflix Russian Subtitles one night only…

In between movie night showings of a Fistful of Jello and The bigger they are the Harder They Fall a supercentenarian who identifies as an underage non gender-specific prostitute for business, tax and political poll avoidance purposes and who also wished to remain anonymous because he she it rudely stated that we would not remember his name anyway and I were just sucking up to him for a story, which may have been all true but we’re suing the motherfuker for libel, slander and defamation of character anyway, because an organism next to him in a wheelchair misdiagnosed as deaf suddenly declared he could hear when someone turned the radio away from a popular rap station just something that was playing covers by A Milli Vanilli tribute band. He got all weepy and nostalgic and they took him to the psych ward, where he is now a clinical life coach,

Hold it up to your ear, you can hear the complete works of Steven Wright…

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I changed Betsy Ross’s diapers damn it, and it’s not like Larry Flynt and I weren’t best buddies either, so blow it out your Erie Canal oh, hey where did Larry go? Oh my goodness, look at the time the battery on my cell phone is dead and my great-grandchildren are supposed to be here for my hundred and twenty first birthday. Apparently they’ve got me tickets from Madame Tussauds and we’re going to see Michael Jackson pop out of the cake burn baby 🔥 wait disco is dead… turn this autocorrect the Zuck off

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