An EXCLUSIVE Krapchat 2020 political poll:

Even for a politician, everyone seems to agree that Joe Biden has got the art of glad-handing down pat.

In an effort to explore the potential benefits and or downside of Uncle Joe’s Petticoat Junction Hands-On Style of grabbing the attention of potential voters and or anything else that looks good jiggling above a skirt, we neglected to ask unregistered, illegal immigrant and scofflaw felonius false ID & dead krapchat voters who commited fraud in the ballot booth in 2016 the following:

How would a Ron Jeremy endorsement affect your likelihood of voting for Joe Biden in the 2020 Presidential Election?

And since we never asked anyone and therefore no one responded, here’s some of what we fantasize that they would have had to say:

  1. That’s a hard one.
  2. I think it sucks.
  3. I’m definitely down with that.
  4. Don’t make me gag.
  5. Better than a Madonna endorsement. Suck up or shut up. What comes out of my mouth ought not to be what some political Lackey c********* shoves down my throat oh, there’s a sound bite bite this bite me motherfuker I don’t get paid for this? Get the f*** out of my face with that camera g****** camera.
  6. I like the idea. Uncle Joe is the kind of guy who would bend over forward to please himself, and I think Mr. Jeremy represents not only his philosophy but also the silent majority desires of male voters around the country.
  7. You people are disgusting.
  8. He grab my titties he gonna feel my bumbershoot stuck up his ass he is. Open it up pull it out backwards. I sharpen the tip you know. Them spokes hurt on the way out you know. Give that mother f***** an exit poll he’ll never forget. Wait, motherfuker, while I got your sick ass attention do you realize that Bumbershoot is actually an American word, a lot of people don’t realize that? Now get the f*** out of my face.
  9. What a ridiculous question. Isn’t Mr. Jeremy a pornographic film actor whose claim to fame is he can perform fellatio on himself? I suppose it wouldn’t surprise me, but then again in general I don’t believe it would help his chances of getting elected. Then again, I don’t think anything could possibly help, so I guess the real answer to your question would be that it wouldn’t change it one way or the other. By the way I’m a big fan of Ron Jeremy, even though he’s the reason that I’ve been seeing a chiropractor for the last 30 years or so.
  10. Phenomenal idea. I base all my important decisions on what comes out of the mouth of celebrities who have no f****** clue what they’re talking about. Why not then let Ron Jeremy dick-tate my hardest core actions by ramming this down my throat.

More to cum…

For Krapchat hard-core political news,

Candy Pine reporting…

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