stupid people asking stupider people for stupid advice on wet cell phones and rice you axe a stoopid question you get what you got

instant rice. get it over with quick and get your ass down to the cell phone store. recommended for large families, church picnics where you don’t care about your chances for salvation and or just cheap.
cell phone might as well kiss it bye bye. this is long grain rice. if you drop the cell phone in the toilet do NOT later on think you eat the rice. bad karma. stupid. no five second rule. smell it at least first? we take NO responsibility here. throw the phone AND the goddam rice out. and don’t throw it in the ocean or where a turtle chokes on the plastic bag, okay? f***.
big fukin bag of long grain rice. you know more than 50% of the food eaten by human beings is RICE, across the whole planet. that includes rice-a-roni-, sushi, rice cakes and across the whole planet. that’s a shitload of rice, you know what we’re saying?

IMPORTANT: read this first ttps: //  Did you know the U.S. Food and Drug Administration regulates microwave ovens? Microwave oven manufacturers must certify their products meet safety performance standards created and enforced by the FDA to protect the public health. Microwave ovens are generally safe when used correctly. But people have experienced burns, and in rare cases, other injuries from microwave radiation, particularly in cases involving improper use or maintenance. Therefore, always use your oven properly (read on for tips) and maintain it as recommended by the user manual.

krapchat warning: do NOT microwave your fuckin cell phone nasty wet or dry as a bone, that piece of shit EXPLODE, okay? this iS not a joke. worse than anything. serious. microwave ovens can be incredibly dangerous when not used in accordance with the manufacturer’s instructions. this article is intended for satirical purposes ONLY, in hopes of making you laugh, but PLEASE, don’t mess with your health, safety or life or those of others.
that said:
first off you tell people you drop your cell phone in the bathtub how do i fix this and if they say well first off you shouldna drop your cell phone in the bathtub you hang the fuck on them and change your number you gonna have to buy a new cell phone anyway no matter how much fuckin rice you got.
next, you google of course. we did. we get this shit.

we see this shit. right on top… 5 years old? bullshit. but we looked anyway.

Many folks swear by stuffing your phone in a bag of dry rice, and letting it sit for 24 to 36 hours or more. This is cheap, easy, and can be done in a pinch. But this method could have some negatives: If the rice absorbs the water well, you may be left with a mushy rice mess stuck in its creases and I/O ports. Feb 8, 2014 Here’s the Right Way to Rescue a Soaking Wet … – Wired › 2014/02 › thats-deal-wet-phone
so here’s what wired is telling us… at
they try to sell you a LOAD of stuff. maybe some rice advice but wear you out.

so basically, more shit. fuck it.

here’s the problem. you got 15 people in the house and one bathroom and nobody flushes and fuck who drop the cell phone in the toilet or leave the seat up when they do the seat long gone and the flush mechanism is LONG gone chain broke and home depot card maxed out in collections okay you gotta get a new damn cell phone or put some gloves on and go skinny dippin tickle your self up a big brown trout and dry that fucker out QUICK. shit. put it in a bag of rice you got 2 portions of rice per cell phone you could make a goddam pot of gumbo for the whole family sit around have a nice quiet meal with no fuckin cell phones ringin while the food gets cold shit…

we use minute rice, well store brand, microwavable and take the fuckin cell phone OUT the bag before you make the rice you stupid shit that’s dangerous.

maybe write a song about it get rich one hit wonderbread shit, buy some jasmine rice, need a guitar for that and a ryhming dictionary and may you 
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