Facts determined to be biggest enemy of modern US economic growth

U.S. Senate Bean Soup source: https://www.senate.gov/reference/reference_item/bean_soup.htm

“Buttons backwards is Snot Tub, okay? Think about that before you talk facts to me,” huffed not one single senior Senate Bullshit Oversight Committee member who wished it were lunchtime already so he could get a friggin’ drink as he had dropped his flask in the men’s room.

It’s tough incoherent rhetoric like that that no one can argue with when it comes to trying to figure out what the hell current 2020 presidential hopefuls are talking about when it comes to fresh new ideas about the American economy, which according to the Bullshit Committee’s Quarterly Obfustication Report to the President is in a downward spiral that shouldn’t ever result in the need for a 103% tax rate on all middle class earnings by 4:58 pm tonight Easter Time to cover Bernie Sanders’ 2020 campaign staff’s latest payroll union dues deposit, which was allegedly rumored mysteriously to be noted as waiting on a blind cash drop from a foot spa in Flushing, NY, but that was just a prank too. Stupid, really, we shouldn’t even bring it up but WTF, it’s facts that are what’s destroying this country anyway. Maybe. Or bad grammar.

“What does it mean? Who said it? Does it make sense? Is it male bovine poo?” said no one, except the flunky who edited this when he read it out loud while spell checking it and seeing if it rolls off the tongue of people whose lips move when they read. In his opinion it doesn’t, but we didn’t really care, so he gave up.

“If proven brilliant, can I back date an email claiming credit I said it first?” suggested not a single well known home email server consultant currently exiled in Haiti, from an instant rice processing plant renovation project being supervised by NATO.

“The people may or may not want answers, and our platform probably has them. Yet we lack the questions pertinent to this subject. How is that fair? Hmmm. Think we need funding to study this.” shouted not a single drunken former alleged cab driver who had lost his her or gender not otherwise specified license in a recent Unisex hair un-styling shop backroom poker game within 1/4 mile of Uber headquarters in the thriving Mexican resort city of Cancun.

“If this is the buzz in Washington and no one seems to give a rodential sphincter about anything else, why should we address it? Well, that and potential hopes that the Yankee Bean Soup recipe will not be affected in any fashion,” bitched a zero count of guys named Bobo as far as we know.

More on Senate Yankee Bean Soup:

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