In a proactive, bipartisan alliance to relieve the raw, aching sphincters of frustrated toilet paper seeking Americans, a petition is being prepared offering $1 a week plus $15 an hour to the publishers, editors and writers of the tree killing NY TIMES to cease and desist, please. It’s over. Stop embarrassing yourselves. No one reads it anymore. Hell, even if you were to do nothing but print word for word what comes out of the mouths of Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump, no one would be able to make head or tails out of it anyway, not that any of these people have said anything approaching a grammatically well formed and or coherent thought in months.