Press Release immediate From The English Language To Anyone who gives a shit, possibly no one Re WTF Day is it?

… just have to learn to count to seven. It will be tough, but together, we can do it. Or maybe we can’t, and we’ll eat spaghetti every day until the live markets re-open and the bats
are safe to munch on again.

Press Release / immediate 30 April 2020
From: The English Language
To: Anyone who gives a shit, possibly no one
Re: WTF Day is it?
Venue: Global, except pockets of Australia and Brooklyn

Please be advised:

The days of the week, no longer having any meaning in relation to reality,
have been deprecated and will be removed from the English language at
3 pm local time today.

Replacing the unneeded granular distinctions of Monday, Tuesday, etc…
for example, the day formerly known as Prince Spaghetti Day will now just
be today, when it rolls around. Bottom line we will all just have to learn to
count to seven. It will be tough, but together, we can do it. Or maybe we can’t,
and we’ll eat spaghetti every day until the live markets re-open and the bats
are safe to munch on again.

Summarizing: Ongoing, there will just be Today, with exponentially minor
nostalgic references to Yesterday, which will soon be just known as that old
Beatles song, and eventually then just as Fugheddaboudit, cuz it ain’t coming
back, neither are the Beatles and then there’s always tomorrow, which will
never get here.

-shit-

ADVERTISEMENT:
it’s ALWAYS a good day to buy four fender guitar picks for a dollar, click on the pic of the picks and kick us a buck, WTF…

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