For immediate release 02May2020 f
Subject: Krap release: Voter ID requirements in Chicago rumor is false
There is a new internet myth floating around especially on social media and other disreputable repositories of falsehoods, propaganda and general bullshit, and Facebook of course, which continues to be suspected of being the insemination point of damn near everything untrue.
This devious and misleading scam is an attempt to undermine the 2020 elections and rumor has it that in Chicago you will need a federal voter ID registration card, notarized by both the KKK and the NRA, also with a 3D holograph image chip and encapsulated DNA sample certified by the CDC, the World Health Organization and a receipt for a $100 donation to The Destitute & Pissed Off Children of Bill Gates Foundation, to even enter the premises of any polling place in November 2020.
This is absolutely not the case.
And certainly not the case in Chicago. In Chicago, as always, all you need to do to vote is to produce one, none or any all of the following in order to cast your ballot in any race:
your death certificate
a union card
any illegal concealible weapon
A social security number. Any one will do. Hint, it’s nine digits long. If you have trouble coming up with one just ask anyone with a Jimmy Carter mask on.
This year’s Voter Incentive Grant (VIG) is a generous and exciting grab bag of fun filled rewards, with gifts, coupons, twofers and free scratchoff discounts from sponsors who for pretty fucking obvious reasons do not want to be identified. All we can say is that hold off on buying things like sneakers, Doritos and 40oz malt Liquors and instead?
Vote your ass off in 2020…