NYTIMES death rattles at fingernails on blackboard stage

It’s all over except for banging the erasers and letting the dust settle,

moaned one weary and clearly disgusted American citizen with no criminal record nor immediate family ties to identifiable organized crime operations subject to Rico laws, including members of the New York bar association, self-quarantining blue sky marketing gurus or anyone with press credentials in the New York tri-state area without at least one stolen ballpoint pen with an embossed phone number on it that is no longer in service visibly sticking out of a pocket thus possible cause for search.

“Two days ago I lost half a day of work learning how to stop the New York times from asking me for a dollar every time they shove less than half a haiku in my face as a teaser read on Google news number one slot in the hopes that I’ll subscribe to their f****** rag and kick them a buck a week for the rest of the f****** millennium, which I did and for a day it was blissful… I didn’t see New York times stories taking up space and trying to force their failing business model on me one penny shy short of begging for spare change.

“But son of a b****, now every f****** story I opened from another news source? First mother f****** ad I see is some piece of s*** like this


“First you say you want me to kick you a buck? Maybe I’ll say first I’ll kick your ass till my arms are tired? What do you say to that, you dumb ass mother f****** s*** heads?”

We thought of calling the New York times editorial department for an opinion on this, but decided we might as well just wait until Gov. Cuomo opens the topless bars again before losing our heads.




Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Pin It on Pinterest

PHP Code Snippets Powered By : XYZScripts.com